*HUGS* TOTAL! give JasMIn3 more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
okay i admit that Im not really good at writing.
and so...............................
here's again, ripping off of a friend's page.
1. Friends
When I look back at the past phases of my life I realized that despite knowing a large number of people from primary school till now, the only people who stay with me at the end are only but that few who really matter. That’s such a demotivating factor for me to make an effort, to make friends. To be honest, when I look at all my SMU friends now I don’t know how many will still be around 5 or 10 years down the road. I can safely name maybe 2 or 3 friends, but the rest will only be a part of my university life, and that’s that.
When I look back at the past phases of my life I realized that despite knowing a large number of people from primary school till now, the only people who stay with me at the end are only but that few who really matter. That’s such a demotivating factor for me to make an effort, to make friends. To be honest, when I look at all my SMU friends now I don’t know how many will still be around 5 or 10 years down the road. I can safely name maybe 2 or 3 friends, but the rest will only be a part of my university life, and that’s that.
Ever since this semester started I knew something was missing, and it was my unwillingness to let people into my life. There were times I felt lonely, and times when I felt like I am not significant in anyone’s lives because everyone has “someone better” or “someone closer”. When they need someone to study or lunch with, I’m prolly not the first person anyone would think of. At the end of the day, I comfort myself in knowing that even if I tried, making long-lasting friendships is not as simple as being the first to come to people’s minds when they need somebody.
I am still thankful for the friends that I have, but I am also learning to accept that I don’t have to always try so hard to fit in. Being in Samba for 2 years, I honestly still find myself unable to fit in, and many times I beat myself over it, like “maybe I should have gone to Coburg?” or “maybe I should have joined them for dinner more often?” But I figured that the best friendships never require us to try beyond our means.
2. Future
The future is uncertain, but not bleak. Today as I was chatting with Chels I realized how fearful of my future I would be if not for God. Life has soooo many uncertainties!! Too many I can’t handle on my own. Even as I am thinking about the future and especially my career, first job, tuition fee loan and whatnot, I still feel very secured in knowing that Christ is my provider. I don’t even know what is my passion??? But I believe that God will lead me to the right place (: Amen.
The future is uncertain, but not bleak. Today as I was chatting with Chels I realized how fearful of my future I would be if not for God. Life has soooo many uncertainties!! Too many I can’t handle on my own. Even as I am thinking about the future and especially my career, first job, tuition fee loan and whatnot, I still feel very secured in knowing that Christ is my provider. I don’t even know what is my passion??? But I believe that God will lead me to the right place (: Amen.
